Tag: communication

Thoughts about collective memory and “clouds” or Are our memories going global?

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taking care

Very often, when working in multicultural teams or simply being at an international conference, I have observed that people tend to form sub-groups with others from the same nationality. I always wondered where this might be coming from. Well according to scientific views on intercultural communication, the reason for this does not have to be the language alone but the fact, that because of comparable socialization and education processes, common routines or norms are given, meaning that the context of things doesn’t need to be explained. Other people in the group have more or less the same ‘cultural background’ and behaviours are easily handled without a lot of explanation.
We also do have something called the “collective memory” which is: “(…)the shared pool of information held in the memories of two or more members of a group.” Following these thoughts, it doesn’t surprise anymore that communication between members of a group where people have a similar upbringing, is usually much more ‘noisefree’ than intercultural communication.
But: have you ever thought about what will happen to the collective memory now that we have global “clouds” available where huge amounts of data from anywhere in the world are saved and shared? Are we truly going to become “global citizens” in a couple of generations or are our national/cultural roots affirm themselves? What do you think?

Basic thoughts on communication

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Binary world

Communicating in today’s environment is not easy; not only are we constantly ‘followed’ by technical devices asking for an immediate response, a mail or a call but as the global world suddenly sits with us in our living rooms and offices, intercultural exchange and dialogue has become so ‘natural’ that we tend to forget its rules. Having to juggle with so many priorities at the same time, we respond, in the best possible manner without thinking too much as our mind is already preoccupied with the next task. So it then happens, that suddenly a message that was intended as a collection of feedback – no more and no less – to be discussed on the phone at a later stage creates a reaction at the other end of the world where it was sent, which was not foreseeable by any means and not stoppable as rumors already started to spread… well, a tsumami of mails and a couple of strange feelings later we come to a point where we ask ourselves these questions: WHAT HAPPENED HERE? And: COULD THIS HAVE BEEN AVOIDED?

The answer clearly is: yes! As even though people all speak English and we are all ‘one family’ speaking virtually together at any time of the day: before sending out a message or a communication, the ramifications should be thought of. No time doesn’t mean no mindful e-mailing! Well, let’s print this out and put it up on a prominent place so that it can be seen… taking the time to think things through actually saves you time that you need to spend afterwards to repair the broken vase after the fact! Have an excellent evening, morning, day, Jenny

Mark Twain Quote on travel (interculture)

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Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.
Thanks to Mark Twain Quotes

The power of mindful e-mailing

At SymbolPeople seem to be so happy to have e-mail nowadays… it truly is much easier to communicate using e-mail than actually having to see somebody face-to-face, especially when the subject of conversation is somewhat conflictual. As we have seen in one of my earlier posts about the components of communication, 55% of the non-verbal aspects contribute to the understanding of what your counterpart is saying and 38% of the paraverbal.

So where can these aspects be found in e-mail communication, where you cannot see your discussion partner? The non-verbal aspect would actually be equivalent to character fonts, drawings, diagrams, colours… all of which are usually standardised and not available when working in a bigger company. And even in smaller ones: I don’t know anybody, who would on purpose change the font and insert images when writing to different stakeholders, do you?

The paraverbal aspect on the other hand is linked to whether you write something in bold or in italics, or whether something is underlined as well as the paragraphs and the spaces that you are leaving in your message.

This doesn’t give you a lot of room to communicate emotions or feelings and very often leads  to disastrous results when the other person understands something completely different from what you wanted to express. It is true that without facial expressions, or tone of voice, posture, gestures, it becomes difficult to actually transmit a message. What then happens is that very often, as we don’t have sufficient information available, we make things up and interpret e-mails in a way which is bound to our own experiences and our own culture. We also subsequently believe that what we are interpreting is actually the truth as mostly, there is no evidence to prove the contrary. We then end up being frustrated or frightened or simply angry on/by something which was never intended to harm us or have such an effect…if, like most people (and I count myself in it as well, although I am trying very hard to change that bad habit) you then respond back immediately, following your own interpretation, things escalate and the spiral of messages doesn’t end anymore… until, well until somebody decides that maybe a quick call or face-to-face meeting would help resolve the issue.

What can we do to avoid that situation in our daily lives? Here are some steps that you could follow[1]:

  1. Don’t react immediately to mails that annoy you, take your time!
  2. Take a deep breath
  3. Calm down (mindful walking or even a short mindful meditation could be helpful here)
  4. Write your message/response
  5. Try and put yourself into the receivers’ shoes: what day did he/she have today? How does he/she feel? What culture is he/she from? How does this person normally communicate?
  6. Read your message again and change things. If you can:
  7. Wait a couple of hours and
  8. Read the message again. Maybe you then decide that it is not worth sending it anymore or maybe you decide to
  9. Send your message

Remember: once a message is sent, you cannot get it back, even though you might be tempted to click on ‘recall’….

[1] Compare also with “Mindful e-mailing”, p. 224-226. in “Search Inside Yourself” from Chade-Meng Tan.

What to consider when striving towards becoming an effective communicator

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Did you know that verbal communication as such has commonly three different components or levels? These are:

  1. Paraverbal
  2. Non-verbal
  3. Verbal

In order to be an effective communicator, it is important to know what lies behind these definitions and what they mean for oral communications:

Paraverbal

These aspects of communication refer to the intonation, cadence, volume or pace of saying words. It can also be the accent, a laughter, a pause or a slight cough.

Non-verbal

Here we mean communication through gestures and touch, by using body language or posture, by facial expression and eye contact.

Verbal

Verbal aspects are what we actually say to our communication partner using language and linguistic symbols.

Following a study of Albert Mehrabian[1], an American Psychologist which has been further elaborated and refined by various other researchers subsequently, the following numbers will be interesting to you, who still have their validity and illustrate to what extent which aspect of communications is relevant to the understanding of information, thus to effectively communicating a message where your counterpart understands the meaning behind what you want to deliver:

  • The verbal aspect only accounts for 7 % (hence the content of what you are saying)
  • 38 % come from the paraverbal aspect of communication and surely not surprising:
  • 55 % from the non-verbal aspects.

Especially when looking into intercultural communications, one more level of communication can be added, as does Jürgen Bolten (1997)[2] for example. The:

Extra-verbal

With extra-verbal we mean factors inherent to a situation which can have an influence on the act of communication, i.e. the time, the situational condition, technical means, clothing, expectations.

In order to have the desired effect when communicating, negotiating, speaking etc. you need to take all of these aspects into consideration, especially the ones which are not directly linked to delivering words as shown above. This will substantially affect your relationship and the message that your counterpart receives and understands. You can imagine that if an intercultural dimension is added to this, things get even more complex!

How these different levels are having an impact on written communications and how you do all this in a mindful way will be looked at in the following posts.

Have an excellent day and thanks for reading!

[1] See for example here : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Mehrabian

[2] Jürgen Bolten (1997): Interkulturelle Wirtschaftskommunikation. In: Walter, Rolf (Editor)

Wirtschaftswissenschaften. Eine Einführung. Paderborn: Schöningh. S. 469-497.