“Tuning in to how we’re feeling ourselves plays a central role in how we sense and understand what someone else is feeling” – Daniel Goleman in: The brain and emotional intelligence, new insights.
Author: Jenny Ebermann (bxljenny)
Multilingual Communication Professional, Mindful Leader and Coach/Consultant.
Specialties:
- Mindfulness,
- Intercultural Communications,
- Personal Development
- Diversity and Inclusion
- Mindful Leadership
“How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?” Charles de Gaulle via goodreads
Foreign assigments and what it could feel like – a real life example
Today I want to give you a real life example of how intercultural misunderstandings can happen and what the result can be. In order not to offend anybody, let’s call the person Marie.
Marie, of French origin, lives and works since a couple of months in the US. She had been offered the opportunity to move there as an expat working for the same multinational company that she already worked for in Belgium. With enthusiasm she accepted the offer, being with the company over 5 years and knowing – as she thought – how the company ‘ticks’ and how the corporate culture functions.
As a matter of fact, working life in the company was not exactly how she had expected. To start with, instead of having an office, she suddenly has to share her workspace with many people, a lot of them being North Americans. Her little cubicle is dark, very impersonal but most importantly there is absolutely no privacy. Whenever she has to make a private call, for example for making a dentist appointment, others around her would comment on it, even if she would not ask them to. How was she supposed to work in such an environment, especially in strategic marketing where she had to frequently analyze figures as well as markets and write appropriate strategies?
On top of this she is not really used to walk around and engage in what she calls ‘small talk’ with people. She finds it irritating when people ask her ‘how do you do’ all the time and then don’t really care when she tries to explain how she is actually settling in. What’s the point in having ‘on the surface’ discussions, she thinks, if nobody really takes note of what she is saying.
Finally, something even more strange happened, the General Manager of the branch, actually being from Australia called for a social hour at the end of the afternoon every Friday, inviting all employees around to come by, have a soft drink and chat. How strange was that? Wasn’t she supposed to work in the afternoon? After all, the company paid her a lot of money to get her work done and not to sit around and talk….
Marie did not understand how things could be so different in the company she thought she knew and wondered whether she should not have stayed at home in Europe. She did not feel valued, had constant headaches as the noise in the open space would really get to her and she was not really willing to share her private life with co-workers who, in her sense, did not care about her as a person anyways.
How do you think Marie was perceived on the other hand by the people surrounding her? Well, people knew that she had a very good reputation and excellent results. But they thought that she was very negative, never smiled and only sat by herself at her desk. They did not understand why she did not want to talk about sports and other things which they’d normally talk about and found her reactions during conversations rather strange and awkward. They preferred to leave her alone and did not look for her company. After all, she was only a well-paid expat receiving and having access to a lot of things that they would not have for themselves.
To tell you the end of this true story, Marie in the end accepted and understood that she had to learn how to cope with these new and different aspects of her working life and that there might be different paths leading to successful outcomes, without her as a person feeling hurt or upset. Her colleagues subsequently became to know her in a different light and accepted her being ‘different’ from what they would call ‘the norm’. They found a way to effectively collaborate and to avoid misunderstandings.
This short real life case shows you, how important intercultural competence is and how valuable on one hand the preparation to a foreign assignment but also on the other hand, the on-the-job training/coaching in a different culture is.
Related articles
- Walking towards intercultural competence (jennyebermann.com)
- Cultural Detective (excellent tools for training/coaching)
How to stay focused in a mindful way
Every one of us has already experienced sitting in a meeting or being on the phone and suddenly thinking of something completely different, drifting away. This usually results in losing the thread of the conversation, feeling bored or uninterested and thus in a disengagement of what is happening.
In order to stay focused on one thing, the working memory in your cortical brain regions is moderately stimulated through a steady stream of dopamine, keeping the gate, which allows information to come in, closed. On the other hand, as soon as the stimulation decreases significantly or if there is a new opportunity or threat (thus a spike), the gate opens, resulting in you being distracted by something else. In short, as long as the amount of stimulation remains above a certain threshold, there is no need for your brain to seek for more stimulation. But when stimulation drops, you are triggered to get more now. (You can read more on this in “Buddha’s Brain” from R. Hanson, 2009; the insights presented here are taken from the book).
5 things you can do to stay alert and concentrated:
1. Ensure you get enough sleep, i.e. take care of yourself. ‘Enough’ depends on your personal factors and environment. It is interesting to note here, that if you are practicing meditation as a method of relaxation for example, 20 minutes of focused meditation can equal 2-4 hours or even more of deep sleep.
2. If you are sitting, sit up in in an erect posture, if you are standing, stand up straight. Your internal network of nerves will tell the brain that you need to remain vigilant and alert.
3. Take a couple of deep breaths; by doing so, the oxygen saturation in your blood will be increased and your brain revived. If you can, you could also take a walk before getting back to work.
4. Stretching your body will also help, even rolling your shoulders, stretching your legs and arms. Tensions will be released, oxygen will circulate and your focus will be established again.
5. ‘Brighten your mind’, infusing your awareness with energy and clarity. Steadily high dopamine levels like from positive feelings prevent drops in stimulation. The more enjoyable and intense your feelings are, the greater the dopamine release and the more concentrated your attention. Just imagine a situation where you were extremely happy and feel what you were feeling. Or imagine giving a big hug to yourself. It sounds funny, but it truly helps, you will see!
No matter where you start, you can become better at concentration, believe me. This will not only help you at work but also when at home and with whatever you will be undertaking.
Looking forward to your thoughts and comments, and thanks for reading! Jenny
About moods, leadership and the social brain
Tying onto one of my last posts on emotional intelligence and leadership, it struck me how much moods and our emotional states have an impact not only on our own working results but also on those of others and maybe even of a whole organization. As scientists have discovered, our emotional centers in the brain are so-called “open-loop” systems who depend largely on external sources to manage themselves.
As Daniel Goleman writes in his book Leadership, the power of emotional intelligence, “(…)one person transmits signals that can alter hormone levels, cardiovascular function etc. in the body of another” person (page 70). This mechanism was an important one in human evolution as it allows a mother to bond emotionally with her child for example. Even though we don’t really notice that this process is going on, scientists were able to prove that when two people meet and pay full attention to each other, putting aside all distractions as well as being in synch non-verbally, a phenomenon called “mirroring” will happen. This means that the physiological profiles of the two interacting people will look very similar at a certain point.
The same happens, when people work together in an office, a shop floor etc. People will somehow “catch” the feelings of their co-workers, sharing moods, good or bad.
Why does this matter so much? Well, first of all it shows the impact moods have on the overall climate in an office, at home or wherever we are. What is also important from an organizational perspective is that people usually take their emotional cues from the top (Goleman, Leadership, page 72). The attitude and the mood of the leader,the manager etc. will have an enormous impact on his or her direct reports.
Luckily, cheerful moods and laughter spread much easier than negative ones or even depression. But if constantly confronted with these negative attitudes and moods the whole climate of an organization will finaly be affected.
Increases in anxiety, stress or worry will make people less “emotionally intelligent” (Goleman, Leadership, page 77). Our cognitive efficiency erodes and the brain cannot operate at full performance anymore. Motivation goes down, challenges suddenly become overwhelming
and we are simply not able anymore to solve problems creatively. With high levels of anxiety and stress the brain secretes high levels of cortisol and norepinephrine, two substances which will interfere with the smooth operation of learning and memory. (Goleman, Leadership, page 90). At a certain point the person won’t be able to take more levels of stress and become sick and or break down (which can be observed quite often in our Western societies nowadays).
Interesting, don’t you think, how just by being an “emotional intelligent” leader, knowing when to apply which leadership style and how important moods are you can:
I wish it would be so simple!
I hope you enjoyed reading this article! Have an excellent weekend,
Jenny
Where are we heading? Thoughts on the world of today
I have been travelling quite a lot lately by train and by plane to different European capitals and what I have seen makes me wonder where we are heading. Are machines replacing humans everywhere now? Will it be possible one day that a digital device, a robot or whatever other form of artificial intelligence gives us the warmth and the comfort as well as the balance that we need? I am sceptical I have to say, as most of the people I encounter are craving for a helping hand, a smile, a word of encouragement a well as some empathy and understanding.
Whether you go to supermarkets or airports, machines have replaced people. They scan and sort, analyse and track… people seem to be running past eachother without a word, pushing and rushing to get where they want or have to be. My question here is: do we have to run eternally? Do we need to walk past eachother without a glance? Can it be that somebody falls down and nobody is there to help him or her?
Of course I can only speak for myself but I can tell you that stopping and looking at your life from a different angle is well worth it. You might want to call it mindfulness or anything else but really being there in every single moment, reaching out to people and lending a helping hand does make a difference. A smile, a kind word, an ear even is all that it takes sometimes to make somebody’s day. Everything nowadays is oriented towards efficiency, meeting numbers, saving costs in every domain, be it in the public, non-profit or for profit sector. But I ask you: where are the people that make these systems work? Without them, everything would be empty, meaningless… we should not be hiding, pretending and fearful. We have all it takes in ourselves! It is time to step up and take your lives into your hands.
Being a mindful leader first of all to yourself but also for others is certainly a way into the right direction. Here’s wishing you a wonderful Sunday and a Happy Mother’s day, Jenny
“No culture can live if it attempts to be exclusive” Mahatma Gandhi
Emotional Intelligence applied to Leadership
Currently I am reading a very interesting book from Daniel Goleman on Leadership and the “Power of Emotional Intelligence”. Dr. Goleman specializes in psychology and brain sciences and thus applies the concepts of mindfulness to leadership, i.e. what it takes to become an outstanding leader. Most interestingly, he found out that it is not the IQ or technical skills that matter at the highest level, but rather the “Emotional Intelligence” (EI) abilities.
Dr. Goleman proposes a so-called “competency-framework” to describe how the fundamentals of EI translate into job success; two of these components are related to dealing with one self. Two others concern the ability to manage other people as well as relationships with others.
From D. Goleman: “Leadership – The power of Emotional Intelligence, Selected writings”. 2011 Northampton MA, page 14.
- Self-Awareness: Having a deep understanding of one’s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, needs and drives. People who are self-aware, are in fact honest with themselves and with others. They know what they can do and what they cannot as well as how their feelings and emotions affect themselves and others around them.
- Self-Management: This actually means that although we all have feelings, impulses and emotions, some of us have found ways to control these and channel them in useful ways, in order to bring out our inner core and creativity (as Personal Leadership would put it).
- Social Awareness: Nowadays, team leaders must be able to sense and understand the viewpoints of everyone around the (virtual) table. Cross-cultural dialogue and understanding is even more important now than before as our worlds become more and more globalized. Being able to put yourself into the shoes of somebody else to understand how he/she feels and at a larger scale, reading the organizational decision networks and currents are absolutely a must.
- Relationship Management: Competent people here work following the assumption that nothing important gets done alone. They are effective in managing relationships, putting relevant networks in place that they can draw upon even if only at a later stage. All other components play into this last one as “no leader is an island” according to Dr. Goleman.
What does this mean for us? Well, it shows again very nicely how being ‘mindful’ and in line with yourself, understanding your own feelings/emotions and being able to interpret them affects others in a positive and effective way. Leading yourself adequately and being aware of your own constraints, culture, worldviews and abilities plus being willing to learn and move forward on the path of “emotional intelligence” will certainly have a major impact on how you will lead others.
Thanks for reading and feel free to contact me for more info/advice, Jenny
Further reading:
- Emotional Intelligence in Business: http://www.psychometric-success.com/emotional-intelligence/emotional-intelligence-in-business.htm
- Forbes: Daniel Goleman and the Power of Emotional Intelligence: http://www.forbes.com/sites/danschawbel/2011/09/15/daniel-goleman-on-leadership-and-the-power-of-emotional-intelligence/
- Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.: http://www.eiconsortium.org/members/goleman.htm
- The Emotional Competence Framework: http://www.businessballs.com/emotionalintelligencecompetencies.pdf
- Emotional Intelligence: http://danielgoleman.info/topics/emotional-intelligence/
Related articles
- Increasing Emotional Intelligence – Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence Speech Shares Indicators (TrendHunter.com) (trendhunter.com)
- What in the world is Emotional Intelligence? (noecanales.wordpress.com)
Walking towards intercultural competence
Today I would like to take some time to talk about the so-called “Bennett scale” also
known as the DMIS, the “Developmental Model of Intercultural Sensitivity“. This model, developed by Dr. Milton Bennett in the late 80s, serves as a framework to explain the reactions of people to cultural
difference.
As shown above, the experience of difference as a function of your own perception moves through different stages, from “ethnocentrism” to “ethnorelativism“. The first term simply means that you experience your own culture as central and the second that you actually experience your culture in the context of other cultures. The more interculturally competent you are, the more you would find yourself on the right side of the diagram.
The six distinct kinds of experiences on the continuum of development are called (following Dr. Bennett’s explanations which can be found here):
After reading this you might want to challenge yourself and find out where you would be in this model. Which perception of yourself and others around you do you have and how competent do you deal with cultural difference?
When I was in Milano with Dr. Bennett a couple of weeks ago, it struck me that this model allowed me to finally understand what I had experienced during the course of my life and why I had felt the way I did. I actually went through all of the different perspectives myself, learning and changing views, to finally aquire competence and by that a kind of “peace” and acceptance within myself.
If you are reading my blog since a while you might know that I grew up in Belgium with German parents and wthin a completely European and multilingal environment as I went to the European School. Subsequently I then chose a European study path and an international career which now make me to a sellf-declared “chameleon“.
As it did for me, maybe this model can help you too, on your path to understanding who you are and where you want to be! The good news is that intercultural competence can be learned. As an intercultural coach and a mindful leader I can accompany you on that path if you want to….
Looking forward to reading your comments and/or to hearing from you! Jenny