Tag: Mindfulness

Everything in life is uncertain!

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It is very sad to read in the Executive Summary of the  “Towers Watson 2012 Global Workforce Study” that: “Almost four out of 10 respondents (38%) are bothered by excessive pressure” and that “Security is taking precedence over almost everything on the job.” Although the survey was conducted in 2012 and only represents 29 countries, it mirrors very well the climate that can be felt nowadays. This is not only true for multinational companies, but also for public ones and SME’s as I learned from the many people throughout my network as well as through own experience. Michael Carroll puts it this way (page 50): “Yet, somehow, for far too many of us, our instinctive yearning for creative challenge gradually transformed to the point where we ended up preferring security rather than fresh uncertainty, assurances rather than adventure, a reliable and stable job rather than an inspiring mission.”

But, is not everything in life uncertain? Things are constantly changing and re-arranging themselves, every minute and every moment. If we accept this basic fact and learn to be comfortable with ourselves in the first place, getting to know our inherent emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives and needs, thus trusting our inherent abilities, we will be able to deal with ambiguity and also willing to question the status quo. Finally, we will live our lives fully and we will also find our enthusiasm, innovation and creative power back. Stress, problems etc. won’t go away but we will have a different approach to dealing with them, hence there will be less burn-outs, depressions and other illnesses.

We truly need to wake up to the fact that we are the authors of our own lives and that exactly as with high performance athletes, there is an optimum level at which we “function” to our best. It is time to turn around and start looking at our lives from a different angle!

I can help you do that! As a systemic and mindful coach and trainer I can take you to the next level by simply being your guide for a certain while. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Jenny

Holiday reflections and mindfulness or would you not want to feel like on holidays all year long?

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Holiday reflections

Are you on holidays currently or will you soon be? Well, please observe the people around you very carefully. Do they look like they are enjoying the present moment, being fully present or do they seem worried, preoccupied by the things they left home?

It is an interesting exercise, also for me. Let me tell you what I have seen and observed in the mountains (at least an excerpt of it). First and foremost, I saw many parents with their children looking quite tired as their little ones, full of energy, did not leave them a lot of time for themselves. Many were permanently looking for activities and excursions to do, so that the days were filled and the children occupied.

Then there were the sports and outdoor fans, not missing a single opportunity to practice the physical activity they like. In the mountains you would see them walk past very early in the morning as they would leave to climb up their next peak.

I also saw older people who sometimes look a little annoyed because of all the noise and rush.

Not to forget the many Asian and other tourists who usually don’t have much time and want to see a maximum during their stay.

All these people seemed like they were enjoying themselves; finally being on holidays and having the time to be with family, practicing some sports and hobbies or simply changing scenery. Were they able to leave their worries at home? Switch off their mobile devices and simply disconnect? To be honest, I don’t know but from experience I can tell that most of the people cannot simply let go.

It makes me wonder why we actually have to wait for holidays to enjoy ourselves. Can we not simply live our lives to the fullest every day that comes along by fully being present in every single moment?

Mindfulness certainly gives us the tools to do so. Training our brain is like training our muscles in the gym. The more we train, the better and more skilful we become in using our brain’s capacities.

Would you not want to feel free, empowered and full of energy during the whole year whatever you are doing, instead of waiting for a couple of weeks per year? I certainly do…

If you have not done so already, please follow my blog to stay tuned on Mindful Leadership & Intercultural communication issues. I will also be looking at starting a tips and tricks series as well as adding some other interesting features to my blog. Looking forward to meeting you! Jenny

5 tips to take away with you on your holidays

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As we are now approaching the holiday season and many of you are already or will soon be away, please remember the following when traveling to foreign countries and meeting people from foreign cultures:

  1. Even if locals speak the same language as you do, chances are high that they have a completely different worldview from yours, i.e. react and behave in a way that is unknown to you.
  2. Try to stay away from stereotypes you might have read or heard about. Preparing for a trip by reading books etc. in advance is certainly good but cannot give you the ‘right way to be’ when you are away.
  3. Be as open as you can, non-judging and observing. The more you try to put yourself into other people’s ‘shoes’, seeing what they see with their eyes, the more you will understand about how they ‘function’. A short trip will never be able to give you full insights though, but at least you will be able to grasp some of the differences surrounding you.
  4. If you encounter problems and difficulties, stay calm and always treat your counter part(s) with respect, whatever happens. Engaging in angry discussions will only put more fuel to the fire. You are certainly not the only one traveling during this time of the year, hence having a little bit more patience than usual will definitely help you on the way.
  5. And, of course: enjoy your time off, energize yourself and stay away from your mobile devices if you can. Give your brain and your whole body the time to rest and to be at ease. Just be, with no need to achieve anything… the more you are able to disconnect, the more your body and mind will rest! Enjoy your time off!

Jenny

Breaking away from my prison of fear

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Hilly Road

Today, while sitting on the train and reading: “The Mindful Leader” from Michael Carroll, some of his words really got to me. On page 50, he writes:

“Yet, somehow, for too many of us, our instinctive yearning for creative challenge gradually transformed to the point where we ended up preferring security rather than fresh uncertainty, assurances rather than adventure, a reliable and stable job rather than an inspiring mission”.

M. Carroll then goes on a little bit further asking:

“Can we trust that we are resourceful enough to explore life’s uncertainties with confidence, clarity and adventure? Can we reclaim our natural sense of enthusiasm and abandon the prison of our fears and our need for a stable, secure job? Can we permit ourselves to be fully human?”

I am currently completely overwhelmed by fresh uncertainty and working on an inspiring mission… it is not easy to let go; certainly not the stability and security. I don’t know what lies ahead of me and I need to deal with that ambiguity. But I am confident, and positive as well as optimistic. I abandoned my prison of fear and am re-learning to trust my inner gut-feeling. Although it is still early in the process, I can say that It feels good to rediscover who I am and what I stand for!

Let me finish with these words from Carroll on page 52:

“In the tradition of the mindful leader, rather than leading with will, power and ambition, we lead and inspire one another with openness, intelligence, and vulnerability”.

Jenny

 

 

Standing straight in the eye of the storm

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mindful leadership
This week was a week full of action and of change for me; I had the opportunity to live up to what I have been writing about during the last year here on my blog.

Mindfulness and emotional intelligence really empowers I have to say. Where I normally would have been dragged to the ground, like in a vortex, I emerged even stronger as before. Of course there were emotions and feelings as well as lots of thoughts. But the beauty was that I was able to let go, to breath with them and recognize them for what they were: just emotions or thoughts, passing by and then evaporating.

We all have to deal with strong emotions (negative and positive) from time to time. And we all know that we cannot put feelings aside or try to block them. They will surface again, in moments we don’t expect them to, even stronger than before. Hence, accepting what is going on, putting a label to thoughts and emotions, allows us to ‘file’ them, let them go and carry on.

Thank you Gabi, Jacqui, Miriam, Jitendra and Viorela for having brought out even more passion, empathy and emotional intelligence from inside of me. Thank you also for having been yourselves! My thoughts are with you, mindfully.

Jenny

Enjoying the present moment – The story of the snail

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Snail metaphorThe other day I was searching for a bed time story and just randomly picked a book. The story was entitled something along the lines of ‘Invitation for coffee and cake by the racing snails’. It was about a normal little snail which one day was invited for coffee by the racing snails; the only problem was that the ordinary snail was very slow and enjoyed doing everything slowly. The meeting point with the faster snails on the other hand was far away. Nevertheless, our little snail decided to accept the invitation and to ‘hit the road’ directly in order to arrive on time two days later.

On its way it passed through a field of fresh salad and found that it had never seen such great salad in its life. It hence stopped to eat. Then it was tired and found a perfect place to sleep and so on. At first it thought: “oh no, I am going to be late” but then it simply decided to enjoy the present moment and everything it saw along the way.

In the end it arrived (obviously) too late where it was supposed to be and all the other snails were long gone already. The cake was eaten and the coffee can empty. A little bug walking by wondered why the snail was looking so happy and content although there was nobody left at the party and thus questioned it. The snail simply responded that it did not matter as now it would have all the time it needed to enjoy the journey back and do everything slowly as it was used to.

I must say that I found this story excellent as it is a wonderful metaphor illustrating how much nicer it can be to walk mindfully through your life, enjoying every single moment of it and living here and now, instead of running without noticing what surrounds you, as small as it might be! We should enjoy our journey through life and stop striving for something far away in the future. We have the opportunity to be happy and fulfilled here and now and it is up to us to decide to live our lives that way.

What about you? Are you living the present moment or just passing through your own life?

Have an excellent Sunday!

Jenny

Finding and staying with the ‘flow’ – The Yerkes-Dodson Curve

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Many of you will already have experienced this at some times in their lives: you are not really motivated to go to work or open your laptop. You feel not energized at all, everything seems to be taking longer than before. Whatever it is you are doing is demanding you so much less than you are capable of that you actually feel completely bored and useless. Sounds familiar? Well, let me tell you that persistent boredom is  also a form of stress which – as all forms of stress over longer periods of time – can make you sick in various ways.

Not being challenged enough is one extreme of the so-called “Yerkes-Dodson Curve” which looks like a reversed U.

Yerkes-Dodson Curve

Stress-Performance curve; source: Michael Chaskalson, The Mindful Workplace, 2011, page 59.

As we also know all too well, life nowadays is asking many of us a lot in terms of data overflow, multitasking, more and more global organizations, hence increased workload at demanding times, etc. When dealing with these sort of challenges but still being capable of handling everything, we move up the curve towards the peak. Pressure increases but so does our ability to cope with it in an effective manner.

Nevertheless, beyond a certain point, if the pressure continues to rise our performance will start to decrease. We feel less able to cope with the multitude of tasks we are to perform, details are lost in a sheer flood of information, we feel overwhelmed and unorganized. Our motivation drops and eventually, when this goes on for too long, we become sick. Obesity, burnout, depression, chronic pain, fatigue, cancer, heart disease are just a few key words to stress what an important impact stress can have on our wellbeing and our lives as a whole. Your body simply cannot cope with the permanent activation of the sympathetic nervous system… stress becomes distress.

At the peak however, when finding the right balance between personal resources and challenge, we excel. In this state you are creative and efficient and you feel very good about yourself. Usually this state is called ‘flow’.

You might be asking yourselves now: is there a way to prevent tripping over to the other side of the U? Well, yes there is! You have to find a “relaxation response”[1], that means a “(…)physical state of deep rest that counteracts the harmful effects of (your body’s) fight-or-flight response”. If you are able to do this, you might even discover a state of much higher performance than you ever would have imagined.

Mindfulness training, as a way of being present right here and now with your own thoughts, feelings and physical sensations, will certainly enable you to deal better with wherever you are on the Yerkes-Dodson Curve.

Don’t hesitate to contact me should you want to learn more about how mindfulness could help you! Jenny

Further reading:

 

[1] Chaskalson, page 63.