Tag: Empathy

Take-aways from D. Goleman’s presentation in Lausanne

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Balloons in Sky

Yesterday I had the chance to attend Daniel Goleman’s presentation at the IMD in Lausanne. The room was full and people were attentively listening to what was entitled: “How can Global Leaders focus for High Performance”. I had never seen Goleman live before and I must say that it was a very interesting and enriching conference!

Firstly, did you know for example that when somebody says something that hurts you or when you simply receive an email that annoys you, your full bodily reaction is activated (stress hormones being released, muscles ready to run etc.) exactly as if you were fleeing from a predator like in ancient times? The simple thought of a negative event can in fact already trigger that reaction…

Secondly, were you aware that there are three different kinds of empathy[1]?

  1. Cognitive Empathy (understanding the mental models of people)
  2. Emotional Empathy (coming from the mirror neurons, feeling physically what another person is feeling)
  3. Empathic Concern (you not only feel with the person and understand her/him but you are also inclined to help)

Thirdly, also interesting, were Goleman’s explanations around what differentiates a top leader from a “mainstream” one. Not astonishingly, three areas of focus[2] are needed:

  1. Inner Focus (understand, manage and lead yourself)
  2. Focus on other people (i.e. empathy, to be able to understand what other people are thinking, feeling, how to communicate with others etc.)
  3. Focus on other systems (the surrounding parameters, the forces that impact an organization)

Once all three are combined, leaders excel in their tasks and are also perceived by peers and employees to be thriving.

And finally, to my surprise, Goleman even brought a simple mindfulness exercise to the audience, who sat in silence for a while, listening to his voice giving the instructions. What an inspiring moment!

Mindfulness according to him is “fitness for the brain”, training attention and focus. The more it is done, the more the brain changes the way it operates and reacts to stimuli and the better one will also be able to “listen” to the info coming from the gut (the somatic markers).

Bringing mindfulness into the workplace using different formats and tools to deal with difference, furthering not only internal communications, innovation and creativity but also self-awareness and efficiency in teams is what I am focusing on as a consultant/coach/trainer. If you are interested in learning more, I would be very pleased to hear from you!

And to end with a really nice old eskimo proverb that my mindfulness teacher brought to my attention yesterday and that I found back here:

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow is wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly

Have a great weekend,
Jenny

[1] Compare also with this article : http://www.danielgoleman.info/three-kinds-of-empathy-cognitive-emotional-compassionate/

[2] Compare also with D. Goleman’s post: http://blog.haygroup.com/the-three-kinds-of-focus-every-leader-needs/

Storytelling – A powerful tool for changing organisations

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Storytelling

Earlier this week I posted “Strengthen and Sustain Culture with Storytelling” from Nancy Duarte on LinkedIn. It instantly sparked reactions, also on other social media channels.

Storytelling in communications and marketing is not new but the fact that it can and should be applied to organizational culture is very relevant. As an organization you certainly want to live up to your mission/vision and attain your objectives. If you do it by retaining talent, motivating people intrinsically and  making them feel ‘part of the game’, even better.

In line with the ongoing discussions about emotional intelligence and its importance for modern businesses, a story is an emotionally  – and from a communication perspective very important  – ‘tool’ that:

  • bonds people together (not only the ones featuring in the story itself)
  • conveys values and culture
  • motivates intrinsically as people feel concerned
  • visualizes objectives, measures etc. in a powerful way
  • makes people remember what you were talking about
  • etc.

As Ms. Duarte points out correctly in her TEDxEAST talk, “if you communicate and idea in a way that resonates, change will happen”.

Now, let me ask you: is your organization investing money into making people communicate more effectively with each other?

Have an excellent rest of the week,

Jenny

Did you know that you actually have two brains?

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Human brainOn my way to Tallinn where I am attending the 2013 SIETAR Congress, I read some interesting articles related to intercultural research, mindfulness and leadership. It always strikes me, how much everything is interrelated!

For example I read that leadership is not about controlling others and the environment we live/work in but to accept and treat others as ‘human beings’ who as such are capable of compassion, creativity and generosity. All it needs is somebody to bring out these qualities and skills, hence to work with collective emotional intelligence rather than with individual intellects only.

Whereas this would appear obvious to a mindful leader, another article expanding these thoughts by Amnon Buchbinder on Philip Shepherd’s ‘Out of our heads’ retained my attention. The latter explores the implications of the fact that there are two brains (yes!) within us: the cranial one which we know and the so-called ‘enteric brain’ located in our bellies (in the gut).

From my understanding of neuroscience, I know that there is a web of neurons in the belly allowing us to listen to the outside world through our bodies; what I did not know though, was how we as humans in our Western culture historically ended up putting so much emphasis on our ‘cranial brain’ and the intellect thus moving our ‘thinking’ self to the head.

We live in a ‘head-centered’ society and of course this has multiple consequences in our lives, on our organisational cultures, our education etc.etc. Interestingly, the idea of an integrated mind and body (i.e. the harmony we need to achieve in order to align our ‘two brains’), “the embodied feeling and lived experience” (Bennett, Castiglioni) also lies at the center of intercultural adaptation: the intuitive feeling of a culture is as important as cultural awareness and knowledge of a foreign culture to be able to effectively deal with difference.

Food for thought! During the next days here in Tallinn, I will certainly be learning many more new aspects of intercultural research, training and education. I can only say that listening to my gut feeling has brought me here and the practice of mindfulness is certainly one way of being in touch with myself again.

If you haven’t done so already, please follow my blog to learn more about Mindful Leadership & Intercultural Communications. I will be offering some free 20 minutes coaching sessions very soon for those of you who don’t really know what it is, want to try it out or simply are in need of coaching. Sign up here!

 

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All the peace and happiness of the whole globe,
the peace and happiness of societies,
the peace and happiness of family,
the peace and happiness in the individual persons’ life,
and the peace and happiness of even the animals and so forth,
all depends on having loving kindness toward each other.

Lama Zopa Rinpoche – found here

Everything in life is uncertain!

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It is very sad to read in the Executive Summary of the  “Towers Watson 2012 Global Workforce Study” that: “Almost four out of 10 respondents (38%) are bothered by excessive pressure” and that “Security is taking precedence over almost everything on the job.” Although the survey was conducted in 2012 and only represents 29 countries, it mirrors very well the climate that can be felt nowadays. This is not only true for multinational companies, but also for public ones and SME’s as I learned from the many people throughout my network as well as through own experience. Michael Carroll puts it this way (page 50): “Yet, somehow, for far too many of us, our instinctive yearning for creative challenge gradually transformed to the point where we ended up preferring security rather than fresh uncertainty, assurances rather than adventure, a reliable and stable job rather than an inspiring mission.”

But, is not everything in life uncertain? Things are constantly changing and re-arranging themselves, every minute and every moment. If we accept this basic fact and learn to be comfortable with ourselves in the first place, getting to know our inherent emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives and needs, thus trusting our inherent abilities, we will be able to deal with ambiguity and also willing to question the status quo. Finally, we will live our lives fully and we will also find our enthusiasm, innovation and creative power back. Stress, problems etc. won’t go away but we will have a different approach to dealing with them, hence there will be less burn-outs, depressions and other illnesses.

We truly need to wake up to the fact that we are the authors of our own lives and that exactly as with high performance athletes, there is an optimum level at which we “function” to our best. It is time to turn around and start looking at our lives from a different angle!

I can help you do that! As a systemic and mindful coach and trainer I can take you to the next level by simply being your guide for a certain while. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Jenny

I go among trees and sit still

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Beautiful poem describing my mindfulness retreat in silence today; Found here:

I go among trees and sit still.
All my stirring becomes quiet
Around me like circles on water.
My tasks lie in their places
Where I left them, asleep like cattle…
Then what I am afraid of comes.
I live for a while in its sight.
What I fear in it leaves it,
And the fear of it leaves me.
It sings, and I hear its song.

By Wendell Berry from Sabbaths, 1987, North Point Press

Where are we heading? Thoughts on the world of today

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I have been travelling quite a lot lately by train and by plane to different European capitals and what I have seen makes me wonder where we are heading. Are machines replacing humans everywhere now? Will it be possible one day that a digital device, a robot or whatever other form of artificial intelligence gives us the warmth and the comfort as well as the balance that we need? I am sceptical I have to say, as most of the people I encounter are craving for a helping hand, a smile, a word of encouragement a well as some empathy and understanding.

Whether you go to supermarkets or airports, machines have replaced people. They scan and sort, analyse and track… people seem to be running past eachother without a word, pushing and rushing to get where they want or have to be. My question here is: do we have to run eternally? Do we need to walk past eachother without a glance? Can it be that somebody falls down and nobody is there to help him or her?

Of course I can only speak for myself but I can tell you that stopping and looking at your life from a different angle is well worth it. You might want to call it mindfulness or anything else but really being there in every single moment, reaching out to people and lending a helping hand does make a difference. A smile, a kind word, an ear even is all that it takes sometimes to make somebody’s day. Everything nowadays is oriented towards efficiency, meeting numbers, saving costs in every domain, be it in the public, non-profit or for profit sector. But I ask you: where are the people that make these systems work? Without them, everything would be empty, meaningless… we should not be hiding, pretending and fearful. We have all it takes in ourselves! It is time to step up and take your lives into your hands.

Being a mindful leader first of all to yourself but also for others is certainly a way into the right direction. Here’s wishing you a wonderful Sunday and a Happy Mother’s day, Jenny

Time for a little self-reflection

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TulipsIf, like myself you have a couple of days off right now, you might want to reflect upon:

  • what really counts for you in this life
  • how you began this year and if you are still on track towards where you wanted to go
  • the moments that made you very happy and how you can have more of these in your life.

This little moment of mindfulness for yourself will help refill your batteries and put you on track, so that spring with its energy and colors (at least in this hemisphere) can find its way to your inner self. Even if it’s not spring you are waiting for, a conscious focus on yourself, a close look into how you’re doing and feeling will be very beneficial, I can assure you.

Happy Easter to those of you who are celebrating these particular dates! And to say it with the words of Pablo Neruda: “You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming” (quote)