Mindfulness – Page 5 – Jenny Ebermann

Words are Windows or They’re Walls

Posted on May 3, 2014 by Jenny Ebermann (bxljenny)

I feel so sentenced by your words, I feel so judged and sent away, Before I go I’ve got to know,
Is that what you mean to say?

Before I rise to my defense, Before I speak in hurt or fear, Before I build that wall of words, Tell me, did I really hear?

Words are windows, or they’re walls, They sentence us, or set us free. When I speak and when I hear,
Let the love light shine through me.

There are things I need to say, Things that mean so much to me, If my words don’t make me clear, Will you help me to be free?

If I seemed to put you down,
If you felt I didn’t care,
Try to listen through my words, To the feelings that we share.

By Ruth Bebermeyer taken from Marshall Rosenberg’s book: Nonviolent Communication, 2nd Edition, page 20.

Mindfulness, Connection and Sustainable Change

Posted on April 30, 2014 by Jenny Ebermann (bxljenny)

I just came back from busy London where I had the pleasure of following a really interesting mindfulness workshop hosted by Initiatives of Change UK with Rohan Narse, Geoff McDonald, Global VP HR, Marketing & Communications, Sustainability at Unilever and Graham Watts, Global Director of Education & Training at the Hawn Foundation.

I must say that in the UK they really are already at the forefront of dealing with uncertainty, ambiguity, pressure etc. not only in the business world but also in education. Addressing strategies to become aware of what is happening within oneself as well as being able to effectively deal with emotions, anger, stress is truly not a soft factor anymore. On the contrary, it more and more becomes a ‘hard skill’ that one has to learn in order to ‘survive’ in our global environment.

The earlier these competences are learned, the better, as they will become part of a person’s life and routine. Mindfulness applied to various aspects of life as one of the techniques that can be used, in particular coupled with meditation (or call it quiet-time, stillness) not only sharpens the mind and is a must for focus and creativity; no! It also strengthens the immune system, enables you to deal differently with life’s up’s and down’s and most importantly: enables you to live every single moment fully, enjoying the sun on your skin and the smell of flowers in the air. You really feel alive and begin to ‘be’ instead of running and rushing through your life.

Today I want to invite you to find some quiet time for yourself; close your eyes and focus your attention on your breath. Simply be and look inside yourself. You will be surprised at what you will find!

Jenny

Have you ever tried out Coaching or Counselling services?

Posted on April 27, 2014 by Jenny Ebermann (bxljenny)

I have! Long before I became a professional coach myself and when I was still living in Canada, I had the pleasure of closely working with an excellent coach, who helped me quite a lot on my professional path, navigating the stormy waters of life in an international organization.

As a matter of fact, I decided to become a coach myself back in 2007 as I had been constantly training and mentoring people in global settings across the globe. Then living in Zurich, I began looking out for an adequate and professional school as already back then many people called themselves ‘coach’ without really having followed a thorough education (even without having ever coached anybody)!).

Two years, many coachings, supervisions, sessions and a dissertation plus Swiss level exam later, I finally had my credentials in hand. Naturally, being myself and international chameleon and speaking/writing many languages, my specialty became coaching/counselling in intercultural and global settings. Expatriates, foreigners living in or planning to move to a certain country, professionals working in an international environment and their spouses have since then been a main focus of interest.

In addition, practicing mindfulness, and related techniques since many years, I am bringing this knowledge into my day-to-day work. It really is amazing how self-awareness, openness and non-judgment enable you to deal with differences in a very effective way. Especially, as uncertainty is a more or less persistent companion nowadays, leading to stress and ambiguity, mindfulness techniques brought into coaching and linked to dealing with intercultural issues and situations of difference are a powerful tool that everybody can learn.

If you are:

Dealing with a challenging situation in your career or at home
Settling into a new environment, be it a different culture or other
Working in an international environment
Planning to move abroad or to another region soon
Dealing with uncertainty, stress, ambiguity
Looking for help and guidance on your way forward
Looking for personal growth and development
…

Coaching/Counselling can support you on your journey. You are not alone and nobody knows better than yourself how you are feeling and which way to go. You might simply need some clarity in your thoughts and insights as well as a fresh look at your issues. Everybody can grow and you might learn things about yourself that you would not have expected. Coaching really is for everybody and the various tools and resources can have incredible results. Be it face-to-face or online, you are the architect of your own life!

Register today and get 50% off your first 1 hour trial coaching session (online or face-to-face if you live in the French-speaking part of Switzerland)! Prices usually start at 150 CHF/hour and can be adapted if you are a student, unemployed, with an NGO or still in training and the offer is valid until the 11th of May 2014. Once registered you will receive all details by email and will then be able to decide if you want to take advantage of the offer or not (the offer is valid for the first 20 subscribers).

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Jenny

Easy and powerful stress-reduction technique

Posted on March 23, 2014 by Jenny Ebermann (bxljenny)

To end the weekend, I want to share an excellent technique called “quick coherence” from www.heartmath.org with you that I am often using when working in a training or coaching setting. It is very useful when starting a session, in order to reduce anxiety, stress or frustration; of course it can also be used at home or in preparation of difficult conversations or meetings. It is said to create positive changes in your heart rhythms, sending powerful signals to the brain that can improve how you are feeling and thus how you are acting and behaving.

Step 1: Heart Focus.

Focus your attention on the area around your heart, the area in the center of your chest. If you prefer, the first couple of times you try it, place your hand over the center of your chest to help keep your attention in the heart area.

Step 2: Heart Breathing.

Breathe deeply but normally and feel as if your breath is coming in and going out through your heart area. Continue breathing with ease until you find a natural inner rhythm that feels good to you.

Step 3: Heart Feeling.

As you maintain your heart focus and heart breathing, activate a positive feeling. Recall a positive feeling, a time when you felt good inside, and try to re-experience the feeling. One of the easiest ways to generate a positive, heart-based feeling is to remember a special place you’ve been to or the love you feel for a close friend or family member or treasured pet. This is the most important step.

The Power of Words

Posted on March 14, 2014 by Jenny Ebermann (bxljenny)

Spoken words are extremely powerful but many of us are not aware of this fact. Words are used to communicate but most of the time we don’t really pay attention to what we are saying and which words we choose to make our point.

As soon as we are becoming mindful of what and how we are saying things, we begin to take responsibility for our lives.

Words are not only coming out of our mouths but are also unspoken, being constructed within thoughts. If we begin to pay attention to what we are saying, we will quickly notice that many things are quite negative. We are using words like ‘should’ and ‘must’ as well as ‘but’ and many other expressions to gain control over situations that we don’t control or to justify why we did not do something or are not up to the level that others are expecting us to be.

Test it for yourself: record phone calls randomly for your own use and listen to them later. Are there any patterns that you see emerging? Anything in particular that you are noticing? It is really interesting to find out how we communicate as it reflects the way in which we think about ourselves or how we are structuring our thoughts.

Have you ever thought about how you start your day? Are you complaining about the weather, the fact that your coffee is not ready and that you have a terrible headache? Or are you welcoming the new day with a smile and a friendly thought? Usually, what you expect will come true and the more your thoughts and words will be negative/positive, the more your day will be negative/positive.

You could also pay close attention to how you are speaking about yourself. What kind or words are you using? How are you describing your life, your work, your relationships with other people? What belief systems have you accepted and what are you expecting? Usually, what you expect and portray will emanate from you and expectations very often become reality.

How can you start becoming more mindful about what is going on?

The first thing really is to become more self-aware. Which words are you using and how are you thinking about yourself. Recordings (voice and or video) can tell you a lot about yourself; if you add video to it, it will give you valuable insights about your non-verbal communication.
Eliminate negative words and thoughts from you daily vocabulary and replace them with positive affirmations. You could even write some of these on little flash cards and have them handy for whenever you need them so that after a while they become part of your vocabulary.
Stop spreading negative stories; ignore them and spread only the positive ones instead.
Voice your thoughts around what you are wishing for in life (in a positive way) and repeat these words to yourself.

Have an excellent weekend and thanks for reading! As always, don’t hesitate to reach out to me should you wish some advice or coaching.

Jenny

Checking-in with yourself

Posted on March 10, 2014 by Jenny Ebermann (bxljenny)

Many of us have been extremely busy during the last months and still are. While the days are slowly becoming longer and the sunlight warmer – at least here in the French speaking part of Switzerland – let me give you some ideas for your daily informal mindfulness practice (and even if you are not practicing every day, this will also be very helpful for you, I am sure).

First of all, please take a moment to settle in with yourself, take a deep breath and become aware of the air streaming in and out of your body. Try to feel your feet and how they feel on the ground, whether you are walking, standing or sitting. Move your toes and explore the sensations that you are having right now, in your feet. It might sound strange but it is actually an excellent exercise for grounding yourself and becoming more centred.

Secondly, become aware of the tensions in your body; how are your shoulders feeling? What about your neck and your back? Is there any particular sensation in one or the other part of your body? If so, try to stay with that sensation for a moment. Explore it in a non-judging way.
- Is it possible to release the tension, intentionally?
- Is it possible to breathe deeply into it?
- Does the feeling change, soften or maybe even go away?

If you are at home, you could also observe yourself in the mirror, watching out for tensions that you are able to see in your face, your jaw in particular.

Are you clenching your teeth?
What happens when you smile at yourself, does the tension go away?

It would indeed be helpful, if you could try to ‘check-in’ with yourself every time you are encountering strong emotions (positive or negative).
- What is happening in your body and where during these strong emotional moments?

Doing this on a regular basis will make you accustomed to your bodily reactions and will help you noticing what is happening even before your brain knows what’s going on. Try it for yourself, you will be surprised of what you’ll find out!

Have an excellent week,
Jenny

4 tips on how to remain serene and creative throughout the week

Posted on February 2, 2014 by Jenny Ebermann (bxljenny)

Before you start the new week, let me give some tips on how to remain serene and creative even though you have to cope with a flood of incoming mails, various problems, family issues etc.:

When you wake up in the morning, smile to yourself; your mood will directly improve.
Every time you feel tight or stressed, remember to breathe. Even better: take a couple of deep breaths, walk a couple of steps and stretch; you will immediately feel better and tensions will loosen.
Take the habit of establishing some so-called ‘micro-practices’: a certain trigger makes you take a particular action reminding you of staying mindful and switching off the auto-pilot. Example: whenever you are stopping at a red light with your car, take a moment to check in with you body, to feel what is going on and to breathe a couple of times deeply. Or: whenever your phone rings, instead of responding immediately, take a moment for centering yourself and feeling your body.
Do something creative every day; be it arranging the kitchen table for dinner in the evening in a different way than usual, giving a creative input while being in a team meeting etc. You will see that the more you do that, the more ideas you will get!

Here’s wishing you an excellent week!

Jenny

No more resolutions

Posted on January 1, 2014 by Jenny Ebermann (bxljenny)

It’s that time of the year again, people take resolutions that they never live up to (or at least rarely) and everything is supposed to be better, brighter in the New Year. The fact is though that YOU are the architect of your life and that self-awareness and being kind to yourself should be at the basis of whatever you strive for.

Start with acknowledging how you feel and where this can be felt in your body, focus and sharpen your attention on all these small things going on at this very moment. Don’t judge, plan, think. Simply BE… You hold the key to happiness, you simply need to pay attention to how life unfolds every single second. Think about something that made you feel warm and loved. Stay with that feeling and see what it does inside of you. Smile to yourself and be present. Moment after moment. Happy New Year!

Wise words for a peaceful end of the year

Posted on December 25, 2013 by Jenny Ebermann (bxljenny)

“We need to get rid of hate, envy, jealousy, discord in ourselves, so we can reach a solution in terms of peace in order to feel that time has come for human happiness.” – Chico Xavier