Coach | Trainer | Speaker | Consultant
All the peace and happiness of the whole globe,
the peace and happiness of societies,
the peace and happiness of family,
the peace and happiness in the individual persons’ life,
and the peace and happiness of even the animals and so forth,
all depends on having loving kindness toward each other.
Lama Zopa Rinpoche – found here
During the holidays, I had the pleasure of spending some time in Italy. As some of you will know, at the seaside, you cannot bathe everywhere you want (you would have thought the sea is for free). You have the choice of either paying for a “bagni” or you desperately try to find a spot where you can plant your umbrella and sit (and swim) together with many other happy holiday makers.
Well, one day, I chose to pay for a bagni as I did not want to look around for something else (33 degrees Celsius is a bit too much for me for being adventurous). Normally, prices are indicated at the entrance, of course all in Italian with various exceptions and possibilities (like two chairs second row; or one cabin two chairs an umbrella and first row etc.). At this very bagni there were no prices written down but it looked nice, so I decided to try my luck. As I speak a little Italian, I thought that I should easily be able to get what I wanted… but no, I wasn’t as it turned out.
Here’s why: first, I met the “bagnino” or bath attendant. He told me that I had to pay 25 EUR for a day to be somewhere in the third or fourth row. He must have seen my incredulous face as I nearly swallowed what I was eating, as he then told me that the “capo” was coming… here I noticed that unfortunately there was a gap in my knowledge as I did not watch the “Godfather”, hence had no idea what “capo” meant. Quickly, I understood though, as another man was approaching who definitely looked like the boss of the bagni. He waved me in and made me wait in front of his little cabin, where he first had to take a phone call. Mindful as I am I decided not to run away but patiently waited for my interlocutor to come back to me. I then repeated my question and to my great astonishment, suddenly the price had dropped to 20 EUR. Being accustomed to travel and different cultures I then began to negotiate and finally got my spot for 18 EUR. Very proud of myself, I finally settled down at the beach…
And the moral of the story? Even as an intercultural communications expert you encounter situations that are not quite as you would have expected them to be. Being open and mindful definitely helps overcoming obstacles and learning from the experience!
Thanks for reading and please follow me to learn more about mindful leadership & intercultural communications on a regular basis. Don’t hesitate to ask for online coaching as well, the digital age makes everything possible!
Jenny
It is very sad to read in the Executive Summary of the “Towers Watson 2012 Global Workforce Study” that: “Almost four out of 10 respondents (38%) are bothered by excessive pressure” and that “Security is taking precedence over almost everything on the job.” Although the survey was conducted in 2012 and only represents 29 countries, it mirrors very well the climate that can be felt nowadays. This is not only true for multinational companies, but also for public ones and SME’s as I learned from the many people throughout my network as well as through own experience. Michael Carroll puts it this way (page 50): “Yet, somehow, for far too many of us, our instinctive yearning for creative challenge gradually transformed to the point where we ended up preferring security rather than fresh uncertainty, assurances rather than adventure, a reliable and stable job rather than an inspiring mission.”
But, is not everything in life uncertain? Things are constantly changing and re-arranging themselves, every minute and every moment. If we accept this basic fact and learn to be comfortable with ourselves in the first place, getting to know our inherent emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives and needs, thus trusting our inherent abilities, we will be able to deal with ambiguity and also willing to question the status quo. Finally, we will live our lives fully and we will also find our enthusiasm, innovation and creative power back. Stress, problems etc. won’t go away but we will have a different approach to dealing with them, hence there will be less burn-outs, depressions and other illnesses.
We truly need to wake up to the fact that we are the authors of our own lives and that exactly as with high performance athletes, there is an optimum level at which we “function” to our best. It is time to turn around and start looking at our lives from a different angle!
I can help you do that! As a systemic and mindful coach and trainer I can take you to the next level by simply being your guide for a certain while. Looking forward to hearing from you!
Jenny
Have you already encountered your first intercultural issue during your holidays? Maybe it was in a restaurant where the waiter did not serve you exactly what you wanted; or maybe your neighbours in your holiday resort are awake when you normally sleep and vice versa. How do you deal with these problems? Do you walk away angry, do you change rooms and hope it won’t happen again?
Intercultural competence begins with knowing who you are and being sensitive to your own values and beliefs. What are your triggers and how do you behave? Where does this come from? How open are you to other views, cultures, habits etc.? A good way to start, is the Bennett scale or “Development Model of Intercultural Sensitivity” (DMIS). You can find more info about it here (as I explained it in one of my previous posts). This scale is actually a good starting point to examine where you are so that you can become aware of your own actions/reactions. If you are in one of the ethnocentric stages for example, you will be more likely to think in stereotypes and not be able to appreciate different worldviews as you would feel threatened by these.
I personally always find that Europe during the summer is an excellent place to practice intercultural competence and skills. Why? Many people from different backgrounds are coming together in major touristic hubs so that you can not only hear and listen to many different languages but also observe different cultural behaviours all in one spot. What a great potpourri of people…
By the way: as I am now on wordpress.org and not anymore on wordpress.com, and if you don’t want to follow me with your e-mail address, you can simply click ‘edit’ in your wordpress reader and enter my URL (www.jennyebermann.com) in the text box at the top of the page. All my new posts will start appearing in your reader immediately! Happy reading! Jenny
Are you on holidays currently or will you soon be? Well, please observe the people around you very carefully. Do they look like they are enjoying the present moment, being fully present or do they seem worried, preoccupied by the things they left home?
It is an interesting exercise, also for me. Let me tell you what I have seen and observed in the mountains (at least an excerpt of it). First and foremost, I saw many parents with their children looking quite tired as their little ones, full of energy, did not leave them a lot of time for themselves. Many were permanently looking for activities and excursions to do, so that the days were filled and the children occupied.
Then there were the sports and outdoor fans, not missing a single opportunity to practice the physical activity they like. In the mountains you would see them walk past very early in the morning as they would leave to climb up their next peak.
I also saw older people who sometimes look a little annoyed because of all the noise and rush.
Not to forget the many Asian and other tourists who usually don’t have much time and want to see a maximum during their stay.
All these people seemed like they were enjoying themselves; finally being on holidays and having the time to be with family, practicing some sports and hobbies or simply changing scenery. Were they able to leave their worries at home? Switch off their mobile devices and simply disconnect? To be honest, I don’t know but from experience I can tell that most of the people cannot simply let go.
It makes me wonder why we actually have to wait for holidays to enjoy ourselves. Can we not simply live our lives to the fullest every day that comes along by fully being present in every single moment?
Mindfulness certainly gives us the tools to do so. Training our brain is like training our muscles in the gym. The more we train, the better and more skilful we become in using our brain’s capacities.
Would you not want to feel free, empowered and full of energy during the whole year whatever you are doing, instead of waiting for a couple of weeks per year? I certainly do…
If you have not done so already, please follow my blog to stay tuned on Mindful Leadership & Intercultural communication issues. I will also be looking at starting a tips and tricks series as well as adding some other interesting features to my blog. Looking forward to meeting you! Jenny
Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realise there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.
– Lao Tzu by brainyquote
As we are now approaching the holiday season and many of you are already or will soon be away, please remember the following when traveling to foreign countries and meeting people from foreign cultures:
Jenny
And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible for the eye.
Antoine de St. Exupery via brainyquote.com
Today, while sitting on the train and reading: “The Mindful Leader” from Michael Carroll, some of his words really got to me. On page 50, he writes:
“Yet, somehow, for too many of us, our instinctive yearning for creative challenge gradually transformed to the point where we ended up preferring security rather than fresh uncertainty, assurances rather than adventure, a reliable and stable job rather than an inspiring mission”.
M. Carroll then goes on a little bit further asking:
“Can we trust that we are resourceful enough to explore life’s uncertainties with confidence, clarity and adventure? Can we reclaim our natural sense of enthusiasm and abandon the prison of our fears and our need for a stable, secure job? Can we permit ourselves to be fully human?”
I am currently completely overwhelmed by fresh uncertainty and working on an inspiring mission… it is not easy to let go; certainly not the stability and security. I don’t know what lies ahead of me and I need to deal with that ambiguity. But I am confident, and positive as well as optimistic. I abandoned my prison of fear and am re-learning to trust my inner gut-feeling. Although it is still early in the process, I can say that It feels good to rediscover who I am and what I stand for!
Let me finish with these words from Carroll on page 52:
“In the tradition of the mindful leader, rather than leading with will, power and ambition, we lead and inspire one another with openness, intelligence, and vulnerability”.
Jenny
See on Scoop.it – Mindful Leadership & Intercultural Communication
Mindful Leadership
How do you start your day?
See on www.siyli.org
